ok, i feel as though i need to get somethings down. I cant stand living with lindsay anymore. i never had a problem that i couldnt handle with the other girls. but lindsaay drives me crazy. I just had an encounter with her. I was working on a star book for my artist books class. I was collaging with some ciggarette packs. Let me start at the beginning. Lindsay told me that she waanted to make little mini books made out of ciggarette packs. I knew this. she asked me and delores to look for some on the street, so i started keeping my eye open for interesting looking ones. I found a bunch and gave them to her. she never did anything with them, apparently she has been saving this idea for this semester. I found more, abut they were some of the same ones that i had already given her, so i kept them for myself in case i could ever use them. So we get this assignment to just make a book with oak tags,so i started collaging the pages of the book with magazine cutouts as well as these ciggarette packs, I was working on them, and she came in, and she was upset with me because she said she thought i haad stolen her idea. She went on to say that the reason why she left the portfolio class that delores and i were in was because of this, she didnt want us to "influence" each other. but i kinda think, she just didnt want to share her work with us, because she thought that i or we would steal her ideas. I am uncertain how to feel. I didnt mean to "take" her idea. And i didnt know she was gonna use it as a whole semesters worth of workk. I feel ashamed, because I dont really know if i outright took her idea, but on the other hand, i would never knowingly do that. and i feel very hurt by her accusation, and the fact that she has been thinking about this and warding herself against me. I am also Fucking pissed off because I think she totally came at me with that, i feel very attacked, and theres nothing i can do about it. I wasnt making the books about the ciggarette packs, i was just using them as collage material. I dont know how to feel. I am not a bad person, and i feel like i want to hit her in the face for making me feel like i am not a good artist, like i cant come up with my own original ideas. I feel like building a robot that could walk up to her and tell her shes an insecure, selfish bitch. I dont know how to feel about the whole thing, so i just feel sad.
this is why i will be living alone from now on.

ok, so this has been an amazing couple of weeks, this weekend, ricky came up to boston and we had a great time, we went to bills bar and saw sweetfist, they played pretty well, ive never actually seen them, just heard parts of their cd. i really enjoyed having him here, i really like him alot :)
its so hard not to gush, but i have to stop, lol.

delo and i are calling about our observation times tomorrow, we need 6 hours, and we were interested in visiting the montessori schools in the area.
i am pretty happy with my life right now though, i have a job, lots of friends,( thanks guys!!) and an amazing boy :)

ahhhhhhh! ok, im tired, and have nothing more to contribute, my life at school is pretty dedicated to classwork. so im sorry if my entry is on the boring side, lol

have a good night all!

i had the most wonderful weekend, I def had no idea that it would be this much fun. my weekend started on sat. night, and it really hasnt stopped until this moment.
-hung out and went bar hopping with beth and breah in boston on sat night, met up with bruce and his friend alex, and we went to the cactus club for martinis and then punters pub near northeastern u. for some casual bar-ness.
-went home sun night and chilled with the fam
-mon night went to a party at beths, and saw Ricky
-tues day i hung out with my sister, we went to the mall
-tues night saw Ricky again... :)
-today ricky drove me to the train station, we missed the train and ended up walking in the rain and hanging out in the car until the next train. he said he didnt want to leave me there by myself. what a sweetheart.

well, I am truckin' along, so far so good. fran, lindsay's "friend" is here and he brought his awesome dog kaia, shes a black lab, and shes adorable. shes the first dog in the apartment!!!!!

i had my traditional media class today, and we had this wicked cool, funny activity. we had to create a community using clay. she split us up into 2 groups and gave us each two vocations, i was a snow boarder and a boat mechaanic. and we had to create the community to fit everyone's needs. it was hilarious, we aall had such a good time doing it. we were brought back to childhood, when you actually pretend aand play with friends. so now i have this entirely different dynamic in my class. It's so funny how the dynaamic of the classroom maakes all the difference.

i have decided that i knew something before that i somehow lost when i went to college. how to make friends that are worthwhile. i consider the friends that i have now that i have known since HS and kept in touch with, my closest and truest friends. I think the whole thing is just circumstantial, because at URI, i was everywhere and did all different things, and never really got too close to anyone new, and here in boston, people are generally clique-y, or solitary.

ugh, i wish i could wright more, but i have a massive migraine, and it won't go away.
blah! well, peace!

i havent had an entry in forever, but i feel it necessary I suppose.

I had training at REI the past two nights, im pretty excited, they have so many benefits, its a bit scary. I think that its gonna be alot of fun. basically, they give you all of these great deals on spparel and gear for outdoor recreation, and so the more fun stuff you get, and do, the more knowlegable you are for the customer. eh, works for me. I think that i might get to go on a cattle drive in montana sometime next year or the one after that. I have always really wanted to go, and even though its on a horse, its still a pack trip, so thats wicked awesome.

i live with lindsay, marge, and Delo(res) this semester, and for the rest of the year, not sure about after that. they're just roomates. its been hard to come to terms with that.

went to see Marie Antoinette with sara, moe, and cayla this past weekend, i highly recommend it. I had a good time at sara's in NY,yay girlie fest!

ack, i have class soon, hopefully I will K.I.T. haha

this has been an interesting week. dealing with dans absence, and keeping myself above board.

i have so much to do, and i can't do it right now because i am a vegetable of a human being from a whole weekend of hardcore drinking and drugs. boston on st patty's weekend is crazy.

i hung out with beth and sara on friday, at jake's apartment. that was a great time :) [cabral's hot]

went to the st. pattys day parade in southie today, everyone was Shaddabanged. men falling over in the streets in a drunken stupor. the police and fire dept. left the parade to party with us and do car bombs, SICK!


i am done. goodnight-

Aequitas et veritas

dan donahue is missing in the ocean.
I feel like i am a bad person because i havent been to visit any of the friends i had at URI. we barely keep in touch.
but now dan is missing, and i just want him to be ok. i hope the coastguard dont stop searching for them.

i realize that no one probably wants to read this journal b/c its so depressing.
so i will add that i made quiche last night and am starting a new book which i am excited about called the tale of Murasaki; its a japanese novel that had been told and retold for a very long time. I would also like to add that i am feeling alot better these days. i went home for break and had some much needed home fun with beth. I have been rockclimbing in a rock gym, and i have been trying to get back into the violin. I am also going to go bowling tonight.

--- i also met a very nice guy. michelle introduced me :)

i am feeling like shit. i have been thinking about just locking myself in my room and turning my phone off, and never going anywhere ever again. this sucks. i have no motivation to do anything, i dont want to get up,theres no point. and i have no motivation to make myself look pretty. i am gaining weight,and i have no desire to exercise. and i cant make myself happy. i hate living with the girls. well, no i dont hate living with the girls. i hate living with this drama. Rachel, she is a basketcase and a half now, i dont know whether shes in a talkative mood or not,or if she has her little mole of a boyfriend waiting in the next room. and she has no qualms about telling you she isnt in the mood for you. i hate that. lindsay is ignoring me, and being wierd, and now i have to deal with it because we are gonna live together for the summer and next year. what happened? i dont get it. i dont understand. what? cuz i dont want to smoke that much anymore? cuz im 3 years younger than her? i dont know, and most of me doesnt care anymore. I am just so tired of never being able to count on anyone, ever. everyone changes, and most of the time, its for the worse. i can feel it happening to me too.

i just want to go home. i want my mother. she is real, she is genuine.

why cant everyone be like her?

I want to find someone to share my thoughts with. living in the city makes me feel dead. because the city itself is dead to me. i need to make myself happy, i have to get through this somehow. i dont even know what "it" is, but i have to overcome it.

i should be doing work right now, but i am def not feelin it. i am way excited that i am gonna be 21 soon, tues, the 21st to be exact. i am also excited because, i have CHANGED MY MIND AGAIN! and i am gonna be an art ed. major as well as a a glass major. hell yeah. i have decided that i am going to do this based on the fact that i was born to do it. i feel that i am supposed to be an art educator, whether its in a school, or in a summer camp, or a workshop, i dont care, its what i need to do. and i want to be a glassblower so that i can make my own glassware,. i am going to make glass forks and spoons and plates/bowls, etc. i am giddy. i am also gonna make my own beads and sell those. i actually just ordered a fantasmic bead online, its badass, i will have to show those who care when i get it.

i think that i am going to spend the summer on the cape. i am going to get a job waitressing, (even though it kills me)and save for next year. Delores, Margaret, Lindsay and I are getting an apartment next year. I am excited. we are getting one with 4 bedrooms, yay no sharing a room! i think next year is going to be great. i hope it will be. this year has beein pretty great so far. a good year for realizing things about myself, and in the same vein, things about other people. Kira and i are getting along pretty good now, i am not sure if that is because we sorta have to, or if we really are changing, its wierd to think that i am affecting the people that i live with and vice versa. we are altering each others lives, and art, etc. CRAZY!


ok, well i miss you all, and i love you.

Raise in Salary

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
PENIS

The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always ! follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy, at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the
correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
the assigned task.
And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
all females everywhere